KEYS TO RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS.

Relationship, in the romantic sense of the word can be very positive and gratifying and yet in some cases very negative and detrimental. The outcome depends on the way it is handled. Wrong choices, decisions and a certain degree of inattentiveness are some underlying issues which translate to hectic times in a relationship.

This article will try to focus on some steps and measure which will make a relationship all the more worth it. I must specifically add for the umpteenth time, that I am no guru, and these views are based on reflections I made on recent past experience(s)

1)      COMMUNICATION

Talk, talk and talk some more! This really cannot be overemphasized. Maintaining healthy conversations is the principal sustaining tool of any relationship. Someone once quipped, and I will try to paraphrase as best as I can; that if we talked more to each than about each other, the world will be a much better place. This quote is so so true! Gossip seems to have penetrated the very fabric of our existence. The social media is replete with this, even news reports are not left out either these days. Majority of conversations people have these days are about the failings of others. So when I say healthy conversation, I mean you should talk to each other about hobbies, events of your day, ambitions, and honestly explain what the other party is doing wrong in your opinion. Try to discuss and settle your grievances with each other by conversing rather than making your case with others such as friends and likes who will only most likely give you biased views that will at best feed your ego and in the end leave the matter unsettled.

2)      ELIMINATE THE THIRD PARTY

Three they say is a crowd. A relationship consists of two people and two people alone. Try as much as possible to eliminate the third party in issues arising in the relationship. A saying goes thus; it is he that wears the shoe that knows where it pinches. No two relationships are the same! More often than not, the solutions to challenges within a relationship lie within the relationship. Where amicable resolution to conflict is not forthcoming, seek wise counsel. The truth is this; if we truly search ourselves and try to look at things from another perspective then we will know the answer to our challenges. Selfishness and self-centeredness which stem from pride and ego are usually the root cause of issues. Believe it or not, friends, relations and acquaintances being third parties will only give you advice that will soothe your ego and make it all the more inflated. It is obvious that they will be biased towards you more often than not, thus making them say things that will only please you and achieve nothing more in the end.

3)      SEEK WISE COUNSEL FROM AN UNBIASED PARTY

As I said earlier, most third parties are bad for any relationship. But I also mentioned that most (and not all) of the time, the solution to challenges in the relationship can be found between both of you. When difficulty arises in resolving issues, advice and wise counsel can be sought out from a trained or experienced individual usually a counselor. Sometimes, bias can arise from association by sex (that is the third party being a male, thus associating with the male or vice-versa). This is why a trained and experienced person should be the choice. The suitable person here should be one without a biased leaning towards either party. The person is essentially just to be a sort of guide in your conversation, he/she is just supposed to moderate and give suggestions and possible areas to direct your conversation towards.

4)      LOOK THROUGH THE OTHER END OF THE LENSE!

Try to view issues from different perspective. Gaining insight into the way your partner thinks and views life is very crucial. Understanding him or her from a deeper level will definitely aid you in taking an approach to issues that is less self-centered and it will also help in making well-rounded choices and decisions which will be acceptable to both sides. By default, humans are naturally a selfish specie! We make decisions based on our individual interests and outlook without taking a moment to consider the impact on others and the environment. This can very much be the source of negativity in any relationship. Effort must be put in place to be accommodating of others’ perception.

QUOTE: Not every advice is sound advice!!!

Image from: innerbonding.com